


If you gotta run.

by Bookmonster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Manipulative Uncle in a good way, Misunderstandings, Silly Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 15:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/345804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookmonster/pseuds/Bookmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus and Sirius conspire to be get away from everyone else (except Uncle Alphard) for a holiday it brings it home to Sirius that his choices have consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you gotta run.

My first piece for the [](http://shaggydog-swap.livejournal.com/profile)[**shaggydog_swap**](http://shaggydog-swap.livejournal.com/) was for a lovely piece by [](http://shira-a.livejournal.com/profile)[**shira_a**](http://shira-a.livejournal.com/) you can see it [here](http://shaggydog-swap.livejournal.com/19915.html#comments) with artwork and comments.

 **Title:** If you gotta run.  
 **Username:**[](http://livinglibraries.livejournal.com/profile)[ **livinglibraries**](http://livinglibraries.livejournal.com/)  
 **Art:** [I Wonder...](http://shaggydog-swap.livejournal.com/7642.html#cutid1)by [](http://shira-a.livejournal.com/profile)[**shira_a**](http://shira-a.livejournal.com/)  
 **Word Count:** ~6,000  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Summary:** When Remus and Sirius conspire to be get away from everyone else (except Uncle Alphard) for a holiday it brings it home to Sirius that his choices have consequences.  
 **Notes/comments:** Thanks to my amazing Beta (who could do so much better than me ;) [](http://bluebellmeadows.livejournal.com/profile)[**bluebellmeadows**](http://bluebellmeadows.livejournal.com/) and M for brainstorming, wonderful editing skills and general whip cracking. Title inspired by [](http://mypretty-art.livejournal.com/profile)[**mypretty_art**](http://mypretty-art.livejournal.com/) \- it’s a line from a Noah and The Whale song.

  
They waved off James and Peter at the station, James had extended his invitation to his house again knowing how much Sirius hated his holidays in Grimmauld place but for once Sirius hadn’t felt that sense of longing to visit the Potters and be welcomed into their warm, cosy house. He felt the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of what he was doing instead.

“I’ll see you next year then, owl me if you wanted to visit, or Floo or just turn up, seriously my mum and dad wouldn’t mind.”

“Thanks James, I‘ll be alright, I’ll see you soon.”

James had left with the Potters leaving Sirius, Remus and Peter to keep an eye out for Peter’s parents. Every time Sirius caught Remus’ eyes he couldn’t help but smile, Remus smiled his enigmatic smile back and looked away before Sirius could do or say anything stupid.

“There they are, mum, dad.” Peter waved his arms until the Pettigrews made their way over.

Sirius couldn’t remember the conversation with Peter’s parents afterward, knowing that soon it would just be him and Moony, alone. Remus had obviously noticed his distraction as he managed to get rid of them as soon as possible.

“Earth to Sirius?”

Remus sounded fondly exasperated as he waved a hand in front of Sirius’ face.

“We’ve done it.”

“No thanks to you, the Pettigrews probably thought that we’d bashed you over the head one too many times.”

Sirius whirled and grabbed both of Remus’ arms.

“Yer but we’ve done it, a whole week to ourselves and no one is the wiser.”

“Let’s get out of here before you tell the whole world then and ruin the plan.”

Remus took the lead here, flagging down a taxi and giving directions as Sirius watched London pass by. Remus sorted through the leafs of money Muggles used as currency as they neared the house. The driver announced that they’d arrived at the address and Remus handed over the right amount of notes if the driver’s smile was anything to go by and drove away quickly. They stood on the pavement and looked up at the house in front of them.

“Uncle Alphard’s.” Sirius made his way up the stairs to knock on the brass knocker. After a few moments the door was flung open and a large man in what looked like a kimono and wellies appeared in front of them.

“Sirius, dear boy how are you? Come in, come in. This must be Remus, a pleasure, so good to finally meet you.”

Remus shook the man’s hand, the genuine welcome in his eyes enough to calm his nerves for the first time since he and Sirius had concocted this ridiculous plan. It had been a momentary whim of Remus’ to tell Sirius that he wanted to spend Christmas with him, how they would go for walks together, no parents, just time to spend as they wanted, together.

Of course Sirius had gone and made the idle dream into reality, late night floo conversations with his Uncle had been made and before Remus knew it he was writing to his parents to tell them that he would be spending Christmas at Sirius’ (which wasn’t strictly a lie and yet he still managed to feel guilty over it anyway) and Sirius was owling his parents to tell them he was staying at Hogwarts. Sirius hadn’t thought it necessary to tell his parents anything but Remus wanted to make sure they weren’t caught out by something so simple, “Not that they’ll care anyway Moony, probably wouldn’t even notice I wasn’t there.”

“Cup of tea anyone? I’ve got a pot ready to take off the chill.”

Remus nodded and hung his coat on a peg next to Sirius’. It all felt surreal now he was here, hearing Sirius’ uncle making them a cup of tea, having Sirius grin at him, the sense of freedom that he still couldn’t quite believe. The tea was hot and familiar and Sirius’ uncle friendly enough that Remus began to relax. They unpacked and Sirius showed Remus around the house before dinner, not as grand as Grimmauld Place but definitely more welcoming.

“I stayed here a lot when I was younger, my mother disapproved but I think my father thought it would be good for us to see how Alphard had to live, without a lot of money or lots of House Elves.”

Remus’ head spun, the house was massive and each room filled with furniture that looked like it was around in the Founder’s time.

“Of course it had the opposite effect, all I could see was how happy Alphard was to be rid of the lot of them. This was always my favourite room.”

Sirius led them into a large, high ceilinged room, one wall of which was covered in bookcases interspersed with vases and decorated wooden boxes. Above the fire place there was a portrait of a woman holding a dragon, as Remus watched, her eyes moved around the room and the dragon’s tail flicked restlessly. The firelight in the grate made the rich wood of the long dining table glow and the silverware, already placed neatly in three settings glinted with an expensive light. The most impressive thing however was the colour scheme, apparently not content with being disowned Alphard had chosen to decorate one of the most frequented rooms in his house with the colours of Gryffindor, the wallpaper was a deep red and the dragon girl above the fire was framed in a burnished gold frame.

“This looks like...”

“Like the common room? It’s weird, when we got to school I felt liked I’d been there before. As soon as I walked into the tower I knew I’d made the right decision to not go into Slytherin, I felt at home straight away.”

“Was your Uncle in Gryffindor?”

“No, Slytherin. Maybe this is his way of sticking two fingers up at the family though.”

“Hmmm, I bet it would work too.”

Sirius sat down on the rug in front of the carpet, his eyes far off as he stared into the flames.

“I’m glad you ended up in Gryffindor.” Remus settled on the thick red rug next to Sirius, he leaned into Sirius, his heat adding to the fire’s. It was so different from school where Remus would usually shy away from contact that could conceivably be seen by others, only relenting under cover of darkness or forest to Sirius’ small displays of affection.

“Me too. It was hard enough making friends with you when we were in the same House and dorm, would have been near impossible if I was a Slytherin too.”

“Impossible? I didn’t realise you knew the word.”

“Ahh Moony I said near impossible, you wouldn’t have been able to help yourself falling for my many charms even if I was a snake.”

Sirius’ fingers plucked at the wool pile of the rug until Remus grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers. Sirius felt that swoop in his stomach again as he realised how much more like real life this felt than when they messed around at school. Hogwarts was a dream that kept them from taking this too seriously, Sirius could feel the moment twisting, stretching, trying to become something else. Pulling away his hand he jumped up, unable to stay still any longer.

“Come on we should...”

“Right, yer.”

Sorry, I was going to show you the library.”

“There’s a library? And you keep it from me till now?” Remus’ tone was light but he didn’t catch Sirius’ eye, he looked into the fire as he shook his head in amused disbelief.

“Well, I knew I had to save the best until last.”

Sirius winked at the woman in the portrait and turned to offer his hand to Remus. The firelight had flushed Remus’ face and put sparks of gold in his green eyes and for a moment Sirius forgot how to breath until Remus’ hand grasped his and nearly pulled him over. When Remus looked at him with his trusting expression it made Sirius’ insides clench with guilt for some future wrong he’d not yet committed but knew was coming.

“You’re heavier than you look Moony.”

“Or you overestimate your strength.”

The trip to the library was exactly how Sirius had expected, Remus’ eyes had lit up and he had wandered along the shelves, exclaiming as he found one old tome or another. It was nothing on the library at Grimmauld Place but it wasn’t likely Sirius would be showing Remus around there any time soon so Uncle Alphard’s smaller library had to suffice.

“This is amazing Sirius, thank you.”

Remus’ hand reached to cup Sirius’ cheek but met only air when Sirius turned slightly to replace a book on the shelf. Remus let his hand drop down to his side as he watched Sirius’ face, expression guarded.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Sirius fiddled with the spine of the book, picking at its edge until he realised that Remus was probably going to skin him alive if he damaged the book.

“You’ve changed your mind.”

“No, not...not exactly I just, everything seems a bit fast.”

“A bit fast? Sirius you gave me a blowjob about an hour after we first kissed.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say, he fiddled with the hem of his jumper until Remus sighed and returned the book he’d been looking at to the correct place on the shelf.

“Should I leave?”

“No Remus, don’t. I want you to stay. If you want to stay.”

“As what exactly.”

“As my friend, my guest.”

Remus shook his head but didn’t refuse Sirius. He never could. He’d been ready for this since their first idle stare had turned into something more heated, their first kiss deepened, waiting for Sirius to know what Remus was. Not just in his cocky, so, Remus guess you’re a werewolf then kind of way but to realise what it meant, censor, fear, hatred from all sides and that’s before the whole going out with a man thing.

He’d known getting into this that he would always take as much as Sirius would give and he could never ask for more, and he was grateful, he really was, that he’d had so much time but, well, now that it was actually ending Remus could see that it was going to be harder to just tell himself that and move on. Having Sirius as a friend was more than he should have ever hoped for, he couldn’t leave.

“If that’s what you want Sirius.”

“Remus...”

“Its fine Sirius, really, I get it, I do. Let’s just, just forget about it and have a nice Christmas. We should go back downstairs.”

Sirius didn’t try to argue for once, he led Remus back to the sitting room where they sat with Sirius’ Uncle until it was time to eat.

\------

The next few days were some of the strangest either boy had ever had. They couldn’t say the worst as Sirius had lived with the Blacks for sixteen years and Remus had had transformations that had rent his skin and laid him low for weeks only to repeat the cycle month after month, year after year. But things were still bad.

When Alphard suggested they get out of the house both boys jumped at the chance. The house, nice as it was, had started feeling a little suffocating, especially with things still feeling awkward between them. They left the house bundled up in so many layers of clothes even Remus was warm, Alphard waved them off from the door as they turned the corner at the end of the road.

“Where is this park exactly then?”

“Not far, do you mind if I stretch my legs when we get there?”

Remus huffed out a puff of warm air that Sirius took for an agreement, the cold air already threading its way under layers and forcing their steps faster at an attempt to ward off the chill. As soon as they found the park Sirius found a secluded spot of woodland to change into his dog form. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with Remus but spending time with him as a dog was much less complicated than as a human at the moment.

Sirius didn’t think he could have the conversation he knew Remus wanted. Everything felt backwards and each decision had a weight to it that he hadn’t felt in Hogwarts, Remus had probably already done all his thinking, balanced each decision and its impact on someone’s life as well as his own. Sirius had thought of nothing if he was completely honest, hadn’t thought about consequences for Remus, how he had the power to hurt him now and the consequences if something went wrong. It all pressed down on him now. So he escaped and kept Remus at arm’s length. The horrible thing was how calm Remus was about it all. Every time Sirius caught Remus looking at him it was with confusion or sadness, always something other than anger and it made Sirius hate himself a little more.

The park was cold, more that a hint of the promise of snow hung in the air making each breath sharp and sweet. Sirius chased the birds that fluttered by the pond until his tongue hung from the side of his mouth, Remus smiled a little at that.

“Come here you stupid mutt.”

Remus hunkered down and grabbed the scruff of Sirius’ neck, scratching the spot just behind his ears that Sirius could never seem to reach as well with his hind paws.

“Come back to me, when you’re ready.”

Remus threw a stick and watched as Sirius hared off after it. Eventually it became too cold for even Sirius to stay out any longer and he made his way back to Remus, as himself this time. If the silence they walked back in wasn’t exactly comfortable at least it wasn’t awkward and it was only afterwards in the warmth of the sitting room that Sirius wondered if Remus just meant his transformation back or something more.

\-------

Sirius had been cornered by his Uncle the next day or as Sirius liked to call it Christmas Eve’s eve, he’d been hanging around the kitchen trying to get Mitzy to make some hot chocolate but for a House Elf she was surprisingly stubborn and told him that lunch would be served soon and she didn’t want to ruin his appetite. She’d left soon afterwards to tidy the study and Sirius had started going through the cupboards, after all it couldn’t be that hard to make hot chocolate.

“Sirius?”

“Uncle, any idea where Mitzy keeps the hot chocolate?”

“It’s nearly lunch time.”

“That’s what she said.”

Sirius looked disgruntled but gave up on his search, apparently it would have to wait until the House Elf would make him some. Instead Sirius sat down on the stool next to the fire which must have been Mitzy’s as it was far too small for Sirius. He wasn’t quite ready to face Remus yet so he thought he’d give himself time to prepare.

“Is there something the matter Sirius? I can’t help but notice you seem to have had some sort of falling out with your...with Remus?”

“Not exactly.”

“You can talk to me if you like, I‘m family. Well, not like the rest of your family, like a nice, normal family.”

Sirius’ lip twitched then twisted. He trusted Alphard, unlike any other member of his family, well except perhaps Andromeda but she’d always seemed very forbidding and didn’t exactly invite confidences.

“I don’t think Remus needs a friend like me, he’s..I’m not...he deserves better.” Sirius finished slightly limply.

“Is that really what you think Sirius? Remus seems a solid chap, like he can point a wand in the right direction, what makes you think he can’t make that decision for himself?”

Sirius shrugged. The incident with Snape still felt fresh and raw and he didn’t want one of the few people who thought better of him to know the damning details.

“I made a mistake, I did something terrible to him.”

And what’s worse is that I would do it again, it was the worst part of all and Sirius knew it was true. The knowledge that he would still do it even though he’d seen how close to disaster he’d brought his friend, that was why he couldn’t trust himself with Remus. The room was quiet and Sirius could hear the tick of a clock from the hallway, he’d left Remus in the library again. Apparently he’d still not had his fill of books and silence so Sirius left him to it with a self-warming teapot full of tea and a plate full of ginger nuts.

“Well, you seem to have gotten past whatever happened.”

“No thanks to me. I don’t want to do anything like that to him again but...I can’t be sure that I won’t. He’s better off without someone like that in his life.”

“Sirius, the fact that you’re trying to protect your friend proves that you’re a better person than you think. The Blacks aren’t your family, you’ve made your own family Sirius and it’s noble that you’re trying to protect them but you’ve got to trust that they can see something in you that you can’t see yourself.”

“What if, what if there isn’t anything else.”

“I think a Black being put into Gryffindor is enough of a clue, and there must be some redeeming features otherwise Remus would have never forgiven you.”

Sirius felt a prickle at the corner of his eye, he rubbed at it roughly with the palm of his hand.

“Its more complicated than that. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Perhaps not. But I will say that maybe there are other people’s points of view that you should be taking into account as well as your own. I’ll see you at lunch until then I’ll be in my study.”

Alphard gave Sirius a last nod and left the kitchen, humming under his breath. The bell rang for lunch and Sirius realised he’d not moved since Alphard had left, he stood and stretched hoping that the tension in his shoulders would ease. It didn’t and he could feel the beginning of a headache behind his eyes. He was the first to arrive in the dining room and settled into a chair wondering how long he’d have to stay to be polite. Remus arrived next and Sirius felt the by now familiar pang of longing and smothered it, an action that was also becoming far too familiar.

“Boys.”

By the time Alphard arrived the throbbing behind Sirius’ eyes had become more pronounced and Remus was looking anywhere but at Sirius. The lunch was mostly silent with Alphard and Remus making the small talk, mostly about a new potion that Alphard was working on, Remus wasn’t particularly good at potions but it was that or silence. They all finished quickly and left, Remus and Sirius to the bedroom and Alphard off to his own devices. When they reached the bedroom Sirius announced he was going to sleep so Remus settled down in the chair by the fire to read the book he’d borrowed from the library.

Remus was so engrossed in his book that when he finished it and looked up an hour had passed, Sirius was snoring slightly and the fire had burned down to embers. Remus placed a couple more logs onto the fire and watched as flames licked up the sides until they caught. Remus decided that he’d go down to the library and find a new book.

In the short time he’d been in the house it had become one of his favourite places, there and the dining room that reminded him of their Common Room in Hogwarts. His hand skimmed lightly down the bannister of the stairs, footsteps muffled by the carpet until he was walking past the sitting room.

“Remus, would you mind if I had a quick word?”

“Er, of course not.”

Alphard was settled in front of the fire and beckoned Remus through the door and over to the overstuffed chair opposite himself. The door closed with a slight flourish of Alphard’s wand that Remus almost missed.

“So, are you enjoying your holiday?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I think Alphard will be fine, no need to stand on ceremony here Remus.”

“Yes s...Alphard?”

Remus felt his tongue twist awkwardly around the name but Alphard just smiled.

“So I gather you’ve had a slight disagreement with my nephew?”

Remus readjusted his trouser leg slightly, he hesitated not knowing exactly what Sirius had said but not wanting to be rude.

“Don’t worry I’m not asking about particulars, Sirius gave me few enough of those.”

Alphard chuckled but Remus just felt more uncomfortable, he wished now he’d just stayed upstairs.

“He thinks a lot of you Remus.” Alphard was watching him carefully over his teacup as he sipped.

Apparently not enough, Remus thought silently.

“And I know that my nephew can be...impulsive.”

Remus snorted and Alphard smiled slightly.

“He always was you know. But his heart is in the right place most of the time. Did he ever tell you why he stopped talking with Regulus?”

Remus shook his head, Alphard sighed and levitated a cup and saucer to Remus. The tea was warm and sweet enough to sooth Remus as he sipped.

“People found out they were still in touch. They told him he had to stop immediately, that Sirius was likely to destroy what he aspired to be, the good pure blood son. Sirius saw that Reg couldn’t make the choice, saw how it was pulling his brother apart. They’d always been close, before that.”

Alphard lapsed into silence as the flames flickered in the gathering darkness, the silence continued for so long that Remus began to think that maybe Alphard had forgotten he was there.

“Mr Alphard?”

“Just Alphard, Remus,” Alphard smiled tiredly at him and set down his teacup, “Sirius wouldn’t talk to Reg after that. Doesn’t reply to owls, although they stopped coming a while back, won’t talk to him at school. He wanted to save Reg from having to make the choice or maybe he didn’t want to know if Reg would choose him or not in the end.

“I didn’t know.”

They sat silently for a while, each lost in their own thoughts until Remus asked the question pressing on his mind.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“I think you know why Remus. He wouldn’t tell anyone himself. He’s trying to protect you, you know. Thinks that if he stays away from you he can’t wreck your life somehow. I gather from what he said, or rather didn’t say, that he has made a rather large mistake in the past that affected you.”

It was posed as a question but Remus nodded slowly.

“Hmm, well you must be very stupid or very wise to forgive a friend for such a large transgression. And from the way you go through books in my library I don’t think you’re stupid.”

Alphard levelled his gaze at Remus who suddenly felt pinned as a rabbit by a fox.

“I should go see where he is.”

“Oh, Remus,” Alphard didn’t turn but his voice carried clearly to where Remus was stood clutching the door handle, “my dear boy, I think it would be best if we kept this between ourselves. Just remember he thinks he’s doing the best thing for you.”

The hallway seemed cold after the flickering heat of the sitting room fire. Remus felt his skin prickle and wondered if it was cold or anticipation. His breath was coming in short bursts by the time he’d made it to Sirius’ room. Everything was the same as he’d left it earlier in the afternoon, clothes strewn about and Sirius sprawled across the bed.

“Sirius.” The bed only sank slightly as Remus sat next to Sirius’ prone body. Leaning over, Remus ran a light finger over the shell of Sirius’ ear earning a muffled grunt.

“I know you’re awake.” Remus had expected silence and wasn’t disappointed. Running his fingers lightly through Sirius’ hair he remembered how it curled at the bottom, remembered Sunday afternoons when Sirius would nestle his head in Remus’ lap and expect an hour of Remus running clever fingers along his scalp until he was so relaxed he felt boneless. Remus didn’t want to just remember, he wanted to know he would do those things again and have the short, sharp pleasure of experience not the dim light of memory.

“I love you Sirius and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Remus felt Sirius’ breath catch and hold under his hand, his whole body tense as a taut bow string.

“I love you and I can’t let you make this decision for me.” Sirius didn’t speak but Remus did feel his body relax back into the mattress and took that to mean that Sirius wasn’t objecting. Remus climbed onto the bed and pulled himself close to Sirius’ side pulling a blanket over the both of them.

When Alphard found them later it was in the same position except Sirius’ arm had slung over Remus’ hip and Remus’ foot was stuck out of the bottom of the blanket. With a small wry smile he pulled the door closed silently leaving the boys to sleep and dream.

\------

“Wake up Moony, up, up, up.”

“Go away Sirius.”

Remus turned over and buried his head beneath the thick feather pillow but it only slightly muffled Sirius’ voice.

“But its Christmas Moony. Look you have a stocking too.”

“But Christmas isn’t until tomorrow.”

“Yer but I found the stockings so why wait.”

“Sirius!”

“Mmmmuhhh.”

Sirius voice sounded more muffled making Remus poke his head above the duvet. Sirius was sprawled across his legs, pining Remus to the mattress, whilst chewing on a bar of chocolate the length of his arm.

“Are you eating chocolate for breakfast?”

“Yup.”

Remus levelled a look at Sirius that instantly had the black haired boy scrabbling for excuses.

“But Moony it’s Christmas Eve. And you like chocolate.”

“Fine but at least don’t eat it all.”

Sirius snapped off half of the chocolate and threw it to Remus who caught it deftly.

“I got you a present too.”

“Sirius, if it is anything from Zonko’s I don’t want to know.”

Sirius grinned and jumped up, he headed to the dresser and rummaged at the back of the bottom drawer. He pulled out a small box, neatly wrapped which must have been done by magic as Remus had never seen Sirius do anything neatly in his life. Sirius thrust it into Remus’ hand and shifted his balance as he watched Remus carefully.

“Thank you.”

“You haven’t opened it yet.”

“It’s not Christmas yet.”

“Just open it.”

Remus undid the wrapping paper, underneath was a box inlaid with an engraving showing Canis Major and the moon.

“Sirius, I...it’s beautiful.”

Sirius shook his head with a satisfied grin.

“Open it.”

Remus turned his head back to the box, his thumb ran over the smooth surface until it found the clasp keeping the box shut.

“Sirius, this is, this is too much.”

“It’s nothing.”

The box held the most perfect Eagle Owl feather quill Remus had ever seen.

“Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas Remus.”

Remus’ smile blew his doubts away, he couldn’t run from the one person who saw the best in him anymore. The rest of the day passed in a haze until the bell rang to let them know it was almost time for dinner. Sirius decided that now would be a good time to explain about Uncle Alphards dress code for dinner in the dining room.

“Sirius, is this really necessary?”

“I know Uncle Alphard seems the freewheeling, fun loving type but he does insist on some things. Dressing for dinner happens to be one of them.”

“Yes, but you have managed to dress me in exactly the same clothes that you’re wearing, and wearing much better than me.”

Sirius turned away to hide his flush at Remus’ compliment and instead hide his face in his trunk as he rummaged around, he turned with a flourish and brandished his find in front of Remus.

“Not quite, you have a tank top to wear as well.”

“A tank top.” Remus stared at the grey wool in Sirius’ hands.

“Well, we can’t wear exactly the same thing and you have to admit a tank top is more your sort of thing than mine.”

Sirius held up the tank top against Remus’ chest and squinted.

“Yes, this should do nicely.”

“Sirius you have to be barking mad if you think I am going to wear that thing.”

They left the room ten minutes later, Remus wearing the offending piece of clothing and smoothing down his hair.

“This is ridiculous, I look ridiculous.”

“I think it looks nice.”

“You’re only saying that to shut me up.”

“I’m only saying it because it’s true.”

Remus looked like he was going to carry on arguing but Alphard’s sudden appearance at the bottom of the stairs silenced them both. When Sirius had said that Alphard liked to dress for dinner Remus had perhaps underestimated how seriously the man would take this. Alphard’s robes shimmered with all the silver thread that ran through them, a delicate embroidery of what looked to Remus like an accurate portrayal of the night sky in the Northern Hemisphere after the autumn equinox.

“Mr Alphard.”

“Remus, I hope you’re hungry. You too Sirius, although I bet you’re always hungry, growing lads and all. Well we should go in, Mitzy has been working all day to prepare the meal.”

Remus frowned and whispered to Sirius.

“Mitzy?”

“Uncle’s only House Elf, although sometimes I think there must be more of her the amount of work she gets done.”

Alphard opened the door to the dining room with the flourish of a Muggle Magician. The room glittered, or that’s what it seemed at first to Remus. He realised that the ceiling was lit with the flickering lights of fairies, swirling and drifting on eddies invisible to Remus.

“Wow.”

“Merry Christmas Moony.”

Remus felt the whispered words more than heard them, Sirius let his fingertips ghost across the back of Remus’ hand as he went through the door. Mitzy appeared soon after they had sat down around one of the ends of the table, when she saw they were sat down and ready to eat she snapped her fingers once more and a fest appeared on the table before them.  
\--.

The fire flared suddenly throwing deep shadows around the room, they turned to find a head emerging from the flames.

“Sorry, Alphard I didn’t realise you had company.”

“It’s fine, is everything alright?” Alphard was rounding the table and hurrying to the hearth as he spoke.

“I know I promised to stay at the shop tonight but I can’t, my sister’s ill and I need to go...”

“Of course Cara, go, go. I can handle things.”

“I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t ask but I don’t have anyone else to look after her.”

“We were all done here, it’s not a problem. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Cara was fading from the fire even as she replied distractedly. Alphard turned back to Sirius and Remus with a resigned smile.

“I’m going to have to go Sirius, I’m sorry to leave you I know I said we’d have a proper Christmas together, as a family, but these potions are so delicate.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine honestly. It’s been the best Christmas I’ve ever had and that’s even before the presents.”

Sirius stopped, he hadn’t meant to say so much and he could feel his cheeks heat as he glanced at Remus.

“Well I’m not sure how long I’ll be, are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Maybe I should go home?”

“No. Remus stay if you will, Sirius can’t come. At least I know I won’t be leaving him alone if you stay.”

Remus could have sworn he saw a slightly mischievous glint to Alphard’s smile but it was gone so quickly Remus couldn’t be sure.

“Of course.”

Alphard grabbed a handful of Floo powder from the jar on the mantle and turned to both of them and smiled again.

“Right, I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.”

Sirius nodded and watched the embers flame into life as the Floo powder settled on them and his Uncle disappeared.

“He’s a good man, your Uncle.”

“He is, I wish I was more like him.”

“I think if you were more like him you’d definitely have been sorted into Slytherin.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means that maybe I’d rather you weren’t more like someone else, I like you just the way you are...even if you are the scruffiest person I know.”

Sirius, during the course of the meal had loosened his tie, undone the top couple of buttons on his shirt and Remus was pretty sure that he’d pulled his shirt out of where it had been neatly tucked into his trousers.

“Alphard says we have to dress for dinner, he doesn’t say we have to stay that way.”  
The room was warm and Remus could feel the wine in his blood. It felt nice, being here with Sirius, he closed his eyes and leaned back against his chair. When Sirius had been quiet for more than 30 seconds Remus cracked an eye open to see what he was doing.

“You’re staring at me Sirius.”

“I am, Remus.”

The room suddenly seemed a lot warmer and Remus bit his bottom lip as Sirius continued to watch him steadily.

“Why.”

Sirius didn’t speak but leaned forward and tugged Remus’ tie from under his tank top, the brush of fabric the only sound in the room apart from the rustling of the fire. Sirius loosened the knot of the tie and undid Remus’ top button, his fingers brushing against the smooth sin on Remus’ neck.

“There, much better.”  
Sirius looked up from where his fingers rested on the uncovered V of Remus’ neck. Remus was watching him carefully, a question that Sirius answered as his hand trailed down to pull Remus’ tie gently enough toward him that Remus could back away if he wanted. When he didn’t Sirius leaned forward catching Remus’ wine stained lips, when Remus kissed him back the wine glass fell onto the floor, forgotten. With his hand now free he grasped the back of Remus’ neck, pulling him closer and wondering how he could have ever been stupid enough to think he could give this up.

When Sirius pulled away he was shaking slightly, a low unsteady chuckle escaping as Remus rubbed his palm down Sirius arm.

“Remus.”

“I know, come on let’s go to bed.”

When Remus woke the next morning tangled in sheets and Sirius’ limbs he smiled. Sirius shifted beside him, stretching languid and warm, pulling Remus closer with a lazy smile.

“I have to go soon.”

“Hmmmmm.”

“Sirius? Are you listening?”

“Nuhhhh.” Sirius tightened his hold around Remus making him laugh. Pulling away Remus packed away his things including the beautiful Eagle Owl quill Sirius had bought him for Christmas. When he was ready Sirius pulled him back onto the bed where they stayed until the breakfast gong rang. Remus was leaving early enough to get back to his parents house in Yorkshire for the full moon. It wasn’t until the next day but he knew it would just worry his mother if he left it any later.

“Bye Remus.”

“Bye Sirius. See you at school.”

They’d said their real goodbyes earlier, pressed kisses into each other’s skin and hidden under the blankets away from the world. Now Sirius just smiled and watched as Alphard took Remus’ arm to apparate him to the nearest Muggle train station to Remus’ village.  



End file.
